The Browns opened the steakhouse in within the same building that housed the Real World cast in Emo's lives on at Emo's Austjn, a much larger, nicer, air-conditioned venue that totally annihilates the old space in every way imaginable. It will utterly destroy your ass the second you walk outside. The taco cannon!
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You're engaging in this fake, utterly distasteful blend of irony and feigned enthusiasm that will eventually cause the city to self-implode under the density of its own facetiousness. This is still Texas, and auetin you're ready to deal with that, move to Minneapolis or something. Well, fuck that.
Follow Luke Winkie on Twitter. Is it litter or decorations that line the freeway? I've lived in Austin long enough to know that ausfin city can drive you fucking crazy. Why is that cool? Back in we broke a record with more than 69 days with a temperature of degrees or higher. The mustache competition!
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You will thank those SXSW sponsors for making your life comfortable, and you will like it. We seem to be on the tip of everyone's tongue lately. I am a resident of Austin, Texas. People think when you move to Austin you're somehow not moving to a deeply conservative state. Because it fits a certain collection of circumstances and idealized cultural values that supposedly makes Austin what it is. It feels like anything cool or interesting happening in Austin is immediately met with local animosity, because fuck anyone excited about your city if it makes the JuiceLand line longer.
It's the live-music capital ruck the world; it's on the cover of travel magazines, business magazines, and food magazines.
But the thing those people fail to understand is that austih only reason they're employed, the only reason they even enjoy living in Austin, is because of those larger corporate interests. That's so cool! You're pretending to, because that's what keeps the whole city from feeling like a big lie.
It's a place where entitled people claim ownership of everything. In fact, Texas drug laws are some of harshest in the country.
The whole anti-corporation thing is a lie. You don't give a shit about whiskey-infused bacon.
Why do you go to the pun-off? Austinites being Austinites, they found a way to bitch about it. People are very ausstin to see horribly self-involved white people tell puns at a bar. Photo by Sean Savage You're Still In Texas You may be living in Austin, but you still can't buy liquor on Sundays, marry someone of the same sex, or legally smoke marijuana.
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April and October are generally pretty nice in Austin, but every other month is either abrasively cold or stupid hot. By virtue of its own perceived audacity, a pun-off, whiskey-infused bacon, or a ratball bad taco somehow becomes really cool.
Well, because of all the "fertilizer, leaked motor oil, metals, and other pollution" that is currently contaminating the water. The dream is that Austin eschews the big-city problems that makes life miserable duck the coasts, but in Central Texas, you'll still be spending way too much time sitting in traffic. Everyone's investing in Austin; everyone's excited about Austin.
The holly jolly folks of The Institution Theater are lighting up Austin with that South Austin sense of humor once again. Austin is ahstin place where bad people move.
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You don't actually care about whiskey-infused bacon. By him doing that he is hurting small business. Why should I be excited that some dude made bacon and left it in a bottle of whiskey? The pun-off!
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It's not worth it. Austin is like the safety school of life. You swim through the humidity here. Then you would've loved going to shows at the now defunct Fuc, I know a band whose old drummer is currently spending multiple years in prison for growing and distributing weed. Austin is a small town that's grown way, way faster than its infrastructure allows.
That's what we've done in Austin: We've traded our marketable skills for haikus. You can visit Santa at the Domain, enjoy ausitn family Christmas in the digital age, and find out if peacocks really are welcome here.
They will not move, though, because they are scared.